Ah, but it’s very hard to fault women for using the gentle blow-off, when so often women face rage and danger in response to clear rejection. Women are taught from a very young age that it’s cruel or “bitchy” to say no, and then reinforced at an older age that men can be dangerous when they hear no — which is why (not in 100% of cases, but enough to generalize) the soft let-down is so common.

As I’ve told friends (and myself) when questioning the soft let-down, “If they wanted to date you, the answer would be an enthusiastic yes.”